Let’s talk about how to overcome imposter syndrome. First, what is it? Imposter Syndrome Definition – a collection of feelings of inadequacy that persist despite evident success. ‘Imposters' suffer from chronic self-doubt and a sense of intellectual fraudulence that overrides any feelings of success or external proof of their competence.
Here’s a question from one of our CEO Teachers® inside of our communities that resonated with a lot of people, myself included, and is the backbone for today’s post.
I quit my teaching job this year to stay at home with my baby! I am so excited and so grateful to get to do this business full-time (and by full-time, I mean nap times). But I’m starting my website and social media game and giving teachers tips and tricks just feels weird knowing I’m not going to be in a classroom. I know I’m not the only one in this situation – how do we stay relevant, or better yet FEEL like we are relevant. I may be second guessing myself and just am fearful of what my former colleagues may be thinking of me staying at home posting teacher things. So I don’t know what I am really asking for here… maybe just some reassurance from others in the game.
Now before we jump into the action steps I recommend for kicking imposter syndrome to the curb, I want to share a quote from Shanda Rimes – AKA the QUEEN, “I am not lucky. You know what I am? I am smart, I am talented, I take advantage of the opportunities that come my way and I work really, really hard. Don’t call me lucky. Call me a badass.” ― Shonda Rhimes, Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand In the Sun and Be Your Own Person
I’ve realized the older I get the more sharing my stories to help me cope with trauma I may have faced earlier (or even recently) in life. If something damages my spirit, hurts my soul, or makes me feel less than – I used to bottle it up, tuck it away, and pretend that it never happened. I’m a strong girl, I don’t have to deal with that thought – but what happens is that the thought becomes a feeling and that feeling becomes an emotion and that emotion often makes me feel ‘less than'.
I’ve got a million stories, as I’m sure you do, of trauma that made you feel less than as a child but let me share a few that made me feel less than just a few years ago. Yes while I was on the journey to where I am today. Then we are going to jump into the fast-action strategies to learn how to overcome imposter syndrome and kick those feelings to the curb. It’s time to start stepping into the life and worthiness you were born to create.
I was at a teacher conference a few years ago. Let me note that I had been to this conference a few times in the past. I loved it. I had a few sessions that were sold out where I taught about video and I was on top of the world. This year was my final year ever going because it scarred me for life. This was the first year I had started selling my programs that taught teachers how to sell their own resources. The program where I gave away every secret in the book. Little did I know that not everyone loved that idea. I felt like the ugly middle school girl who wore bifocals into a new school that everyone hated. Yeah, that girl was me too.
During the keynote presentation, someone shared a story about a girl who helped teachers sell resources but was really just pretending. They went on to say how dare she teach middle school but think she is qualified to sell resources or teach teachers how to create resources for elementary school children? She said “that’s what’s wrong with some resources, people think they are qualified to create resources for certain grade levels because they have children at home that are that age. That’s just a huge joke.”
I remember leaving during the middle of that presentation flabbergasted, upset, shaking and feeling like an imposter. Who was I? Who was I to teach other teachers? Maybe she was right. Why would I sell lesson plans for elementary school students when I taught middle school? Am I just pretending? I should probably go home and forget about this and go back to the classroom. I’m not worth this.
Or the time a local teacher put me on blast on FB and said “you’re crazy to tell first-year teachers they can make resources. They need to survive, they aren’t qualified to make resources. That’s what’s wrong with education.”
Imposter. That’s what I was. I am no different than anyone else. They are right. I am a southern girl, who never was the smartest but always tried hard. I am not worthy of the money I am earning. I’m stealing money from innocent teachers and teaching them lies.
WHEW. What a traumatic experience reliving all of this.
The enemy places people, obstacles, and circumstances in your way like an atomic bomb to shake you. He tries his best to knock you down, and shatter your destiny. It’s easy to drop bombs and walk away. What’s hard is picking up every single piece of the rubble and building an empire.
That’s what’s hard.
So what do you want to do today? You can lay down in the rubble and vanish into dust as the imposter the enemy thinks you are, or you can rise from the ashes and if you’re ready to do that – Let’s do that together.
First, hurt people are the ones that hurt people. If people say or do things that hurt you, it isn’t for you to carry. That burden is theirs alone. Most of the time we feel like an imposter because someone has said something that triggered that feeling inside of us.
You are qualified to lead or teach people if you feel convicted to do so. Period.
I no longer believe qualifications only fall back on education. Malcolm Gladwell in his bestseller Outliers: The Story of Success, says it takes 10,000 hours to become a master – but who says you have to become a master before you start playing the game? No one. My first time as a mother, I sucked – but I still kept my baby alive and that’s saying something. In my fifth time becoming a mother, I learned that I still sucked at knowing what to do with a newborn, and guess what – I still have a thriving baby. It’s not what you do with your knowledge that matters – it’s how you share your knowledge.
Having a degree in early childhood education doesn't make you more or less qualified to sell teaching resources than anyone else. Your experience and what you do with it is what matters. Let’s say that everyone here right now is standing on a tight rope. Everyone has the same chance at life, the same cards dealt, the same dice to throw, and the same college degrees. All you have to do is walk over the canyon to get there. Walk the tight rope to find the life you want.
Some will start without any experience and know that even if they fall the net below them will catch them. Others will want to practice more. Others will determine that nothing anyone says or does will make them go across that canyon. It’s the same with building a business online. We can make excuses, we can say we aren't ready – but the ones that just go for it are the ones that make it.
We mess up, we fall, we go backward sometimes but nevertheless, we persist. Don’t let the spectators who aren't going to walk across the tight rope convince you that you aren’t worthy of this life. Put your noise-canceling headphones in and WALK. JUST KEEP WALKING!
Second, perfection doesn’t exist. OOOOOO let that sink in. Perfection is an allusion.
You can’t have everything you want in life. In an ideal world, you would get your college degree, teach for 5 years, slowly crawl into selling programs or services online and slowly start making money without anyone saying or doing anything to hurt you. That’s what a perfect world would look like and it just doesn’t exist.
Now here’s where I think A LOT and I mean A LOT OF PEOPLE mess up.
I’m not saying that you should push through and not take advice or listen to other people. I do think you can find value in what other people say and the actions that they take. Could you take a step back and say – I may have got some negative feedback but that’s okay here’s how I am going to remedy the situation? Yep, you sure can.
I see people get negative feedback, roll their eyes, talk smack, say that don’t know what they are talking about, and move on. I do NOT RECOMMEND this way either. Take time to digest each part of the process but also know that perfectionism doesn’t exist. You will make mistakes. That doesn’t mean you are an imposter, that means you are a human. Humans make mistakes.
I recently saw a TikToker make an apology TikTok and it was the most human and honest thing I’ve seen in such a long time.
You might develop imposter feelings if your parents:
And although I was raised with amazing parents who didn’t do these things on purpose – I myself do these to my own children without even realizing it. I don’t think it is always a bad thing, but I have become more self-aware of these things now and try to do better with my own children.
So let’s use our self-awareness to finally kick imposter syndrome to the curb. Overcome your feelings of unworthiness by practicing this statement:
Read books that inspire you and challenge your beliefs and listen to inspiring podcasts. Most importantly surround yourself with individuals who believe you can…and you will!
More ways to learn how to overcome imposter syndrome:
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